Chapter 3: Check-In

1. I am averaging at about 80% on Morning Pages lately, at least as far as doing them only in the morning. Structured time is hard to come by, and unstructured time is easily eaten by medical appointments and random have-to-deal-with-it crap that comes up in my Outer Richmond Rapunzel-tower.

2. I have no memory of whether I did an artist date, which suggests I did not manage to do one. 😦 I have a really hard time with it lately. At this point, a cup of coffee in a coffeeshop with my phone off would be awesome.

3. Synchronicity: do open parking spaces in San Francisco count?

4. Significant issues: I’m connecting how my wife’s gender transition is touching on some childhood trauma, especially with her new focus on appearance, and my deep gut-wrenched misery at her joy in patriarchal oppression. I am also suddenly more keenly aware of it as something I can’t just choose not to participate in, which is what I used to tell myself. Because I chose to be a feminist, I chose not to be oppressed – and I also chose men that weren’t assholes. Except…it’s becoming really clear even the non-assholes felt entitled to more basic respect than I did, and I somehow kept ending up in a service position anyway. Because oppression is like radon gas: if it’s there, it’s fucking everwhere.

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