Also “Monster in the Ear” referring to the earlier Monster in the Mirror exercise. This is that person with a sweet, seductive voice attempting to get you to abandon your mission.
This one is often the same as Monster in the Mirror. For me, it’s not. The monster I could see I knew was a monster on a gut level. But Tokyo Rose… for me, that was how my very existence conflicts with the need for male approval. The fact that a lot of men reading this will roll their eyes and puff a breath is a sign of how much of a problem there is – just admitting that there’s a problem there, constructed into our culture, prompts them to try to erase and dismiss it. I have male friends who, thank the Gods, are stronger than that and better than that. I cherish the ones that do recognize that all this stuff women talk about is real – and who can listen to what’s going on without making themselves out to be the implicit victims of it.
In my case it goes back to minituarizing: these are the men, who, recognizing my ambition, immediately try to shame me for it. To listen to them I am abandoning my real values. I am becoming shallow. They are so, so surprised that someone like me could be so selfish.
Because while ambition and power in men is admired, ambition and power in women is an automatically assumed evil. Now, there are ambitious women that get where they are by doing terrible things. But there are far more ambitious women that get a lot of shit they don’t deserve, because people are so determined to project evil onto them that they refuse to see the truth of these womens’ action.
It happens across genders in the Pagan world. “Oh no, don’t do that. There will be vandalism. That information might be misused. But then you might make some money and that’s not what the spirit of Paganism is all about!” Since I alas am too polite to say “That is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard,” nearly as often as I want to say it I have to smile and all too often let these self-righteous nonos bully me into changing course.
These incidents are often why I used to work in secret. I just kept my project to myself until it was too late for anyone to stop me – then all they had was after the fact sniping.