Supplies: Bad News Fairies I Have Known

Fairyplanes by Oliver Herford 1927_3533984957_l
Fairyplanes by Oliver Herford 1927_3533984957_l

Bad News Fairies: you know, the ones that tell you how much everyone else hates you. They actually have a grade system, as you go through school and graduate.

Elementary: FK (now LL, I gather) came up to me when we were walking to school. She asked me to wait while she went ahead of me. “I like you,” she said. “But nobody else does. You are like, really unpopular.”

I waited … because I was stunned that she felt totally OK saying something like that to another person.

Junior High, High School: Boy, my sister sure did like extracting rumors about me from people who knew me at school who were not my friends and then telling me all about it. Conversely, if I vented anything to JR, told her anything in confidence, she immediately reported it to her sister who then told mine. JR was a lousy fried. My sister should have been put in a home. She was fucking crazy. Only crazy people establish spy networks to observe a younger sibling with no record of drug addiction or behavioral problems.

College: Kelly, the Schmuck. He took great pleasure in sitting me down one day and telling me how “everyone on campus thought I was a bitch.” Because a)I did not go to that many frat parties and b)because I made it clear I was not sexually available to anyone that didn’t interest me… Because having shit of my own going on and not wanting to deal with the trivial bullshit of parties and teen male approval made me a bitch. Notably he could not cite a single instance of genuine harm I had done to a single person, yet somehow I deserved this punishing talk for having a personality he did not approve of. Dude was also fucking crazy. Crazyass men are just as much a danger to society as crazyass women; we really need to call the insane bastards out and expose their insanity a lot more.

Post-college: Oh this was by far the worst. Other Wiccan had a friend who decided she had it out for me. She would come to my apartment and tell me – for two hours at a time, almost every visit – all the horrible things this person had said about me. It was practically all she talked about. Notably she never felt the need to speak a work in my defense. So I got targeted by a narcissistic goth headcase and her bad fairy/flying monkey.

Grad school: I almost had a bad fairy problem again later – but this friend realized what he was doing and stopped. He had a roommate who decided she did not like me; since again no behavior on my part justified her dislike he actually used CONVERSATIONS SHE IMAGINED HAVING WITH ME as an excuse for her behavior. She also tried to manipulate and control all the mutual friends we had that liked me and wanted to hang out with me. Her second roommate was a man she had grown up with and she had gotten especially vicious whenever she knew he was going out to see me. The poison took a little bit and he did start to vent to me; he realized eventually that the controlling roomie was the problem and after she moved out the venting spillover stopped. He and I are still friends; he’s openly embarrassed he did what he did.

Then there was the guy who made it a point to tell me “…at first my friend hated you. Then she thought you were nice.” We were in our late 20s, well past the age where such exchanges are appropriate at all. The only reason to pass something like that on is to make the recipient feel awful. But this guy… he got off on making people feel terrible. It just took me a long time to realize that.

The last bad fairy I had to deal with wasn’t a specific “you suck” but it was definitely part of a crazy\don’t ask questions\vacate all logic attack, where I was asked why I was telling people that the Doctor Who meetup was booked in advance and the bar we were at at the time got a nasty phone call. The manager involved was aggressive and nasty in asking me about it: it was clear it was not understood that the event did not belong to the bar, it just took place there and it was also clear she, being crazy, was only too happy to have a reason to launch a verbal attack, the thousands I brought to her bar every month notwithstanding. It did prompt me to start looking for a new place. I can tolerate misunderstandings but I run the whole thing volunteer; craziness is not worth tolerating. She was both the bad fairy – relaying someone else’s anger – and the upfront crazymaker, trying to spread her madness to me so I would be submissive with her. She’s the kind of woman that makes the problems of all women worse.

It’s much less now than it was. In part because I stop hanging out with people that tell me how horrible someone else things I am now.

So yes, I have known quite a few bad fairies.