For this time period, I am working through Julia Cameron and Mark Bryan’s book Money Drunk, Money Sober before I work through the Prosperous Heart. The following blog entries are in response to prompts and experiences from the book. I see this as an extension of my Artist’s Way work. Some of my entries are jarring and highly personal – any program of sobriety and self-improvement demands admitting dysfunction both personally and in family, and it also calls to admit some painful truths. While not everything I work on appears here, a number of realities do. I have a genuine body of work thanks to my work on the Artist’s Way program, and I can’t ignore the changes the continual commitment has brought about. Because of that, I also can’t ignore what going further into the harder aspects of the program – like facing money issues – has the potential to improve.
My first experiences in Wicca/witchcraft were also among my first going to G.O.D/the divine for help – actually asking for help. A lot of the help I needed at the time involved money to stay in college. And I got it. I got it in low-odds ways, but I got exactly what I needed when I needed to get to where I needed to go – and from multiple sources. Some I worked my ass off for. Others did land on me through luck I do not ordinarily enjoy.
My concept of G.O.D is peculiar, a bit Gnostic, a bit not. I transit from animist – polytheist – somewhat monotheist depending on what I’m experiencing at the time. I know there is something intelligent that I really do have a relationship with. I know that it loves me, absolutely, unconditionally, more than my parents ever could. I know it’s WAY less judgmental than that God stuffed in that Bible who kept calling Smithers Satan.
I know on an intuitive level that I am significantly different from my family in thought and behavior BECAUSE I have this relationship to the divine. But what “it” is changes – and no, not always at my convenience.