Money Drunk Money Sober: My gratitude list

For this time period, I am working through Julia Cameron and Mark Bryan’s book Money Drunk, Money Sober before I work through the Prosperous Heart. The following blog entries are in response to prompts and experiences from the book. I see this as an extension of my Artist’s Way work. Some of my entries are jarring and highly personal – any program of sobriety and self-improvement demands admitting dysfunction both personally and in family, and it also calls to admit some painful truths. While not everything I work on appears here, a number of realities do. I have a genuine body of work thanks to my work on the Artist’s Way program, and I can’t ignore the changes the continual commitment has brought about. Because of that, I also can’t ignore what going further into the harder aspects of the program – like facing money issues – has the potential to improve.

I am grateful for/that:

  1. living with someone that makes me feel safe.
  2. living with someone that respects my thoughts, and does not immediately paint me as “crazy” when we have a difference of opinion.
  3. that sees my emotional reactions as something to consider, not something to mock, suppress, or punish.
  4. that my relatives are out of my life.
  5. that all other destructive, abusive people are out of my life.
  6. that I was able to be there for my father when he died, and to undo some of the mental damage my mother deliberately inflicted on him before he passed.
  7. that I am not possessive. It takes a lot of energy to jump on people while shrieking “mine!”
    I’d rather use that for something else.
  8. that I understand my rare moments of jealousy as signals of what I want, and that my jealousy is simple and not covetous.
  9. that I have friends.
  10. that if the shit hit the fan, I have friends to help me get on my feet.
  11. that I made the Doctor Who big thing happen.
  12. that I am still open to synchronicity after all these years.
  13. that I am on the path of getting improved mental and physical health care.
  14. that I am not, nor have I ever been, in such bad shape that I’ve needed medications. In this I am deeply fortunate.
  15. that, however inconvenient, I am on my way to living a hives-free life.
  16. that I have an amazing Will, and a Higher Self that prevented me from simply living my mother’s life on repeat.
  17. that I have food, safety, and shelter beyond what I ever expected to enjoy while growing up.
  18. that I know I am not helpless in anything.
  19. that the Divine talks to me once in awhile.
  20. that I don’t even TRY to extend relationships or “fix the problem” if someone treats me like shit – not anymore.
  21. that I understand myself as accomplishment oriented.
  22. that I understand most people don’t view me in terms of my accomplishments – most don’t even know about them.
  23. that I’m outspoken.
  24. that I have something to say other people need to hear.
  25. that libraries exist.
  26. that the Internet has let me meet friends I never would have known otherwise.
  27. that I can maintain relationships far away – proximity is NOT everything for me.
  28. that I live in a city where I am never, ever bored.
  29. that pathways to what I really want are open to me.
  30. that in understanding myself, I am freeing myself from other people.
  31. that I know I need to get in a place where I can wish well the people that hurt me the most. I’m not there, but I know that’s what I need to do now.