Sound of Paper: 50 Things I Value Myself for

This is part of my work in the Julia Cameron Artist’s Way series. The work this time is from the book the Sound of Paper. The responses are self-examinations and assessments based on work through a daily series of exercises. While I do keep some material offline as it can be very personal and jarring, I often opt to be fairly open about my experiences, both positive and negative.

Penguins @ magickalrealism

I value myself for…

  1. reorganizing my home last year.
  2. expressing gratitude to people who really need to hear it. Not people who tell themselves I owe them (I don’t) but people who work hard and never expect to be thanked.
  3. for daring to do that penguin shoot.
  4. for adopting that penguin for Mike every year.
  5. for giving the pom squad the last $15 they needed for their fundraiser my sophomore year of college.
  6. for helping A figure out what to wear to a job fair.
  7. for helping M relax about her body image after having a baby.
  8. for helping a few thousand plus-size women every month find clothing they can at least tolerate.
  9. for getting 100 + volunteers at my local Pagan Pride back in the early ‘aughts. It’s changed since then.
  10. for helping S face her fear and fill out her loan deferments.
  11. for helping 5 different women fill out harassment and protection orders.
  12. for staying up with H after she took a morning after pill when the chemicals were still unpredictable.
  13. for cooking Dad his favorite saur kraut dish while he was dying.
  14. for making sure I got Mike’s grandfather to tell me about his life – he died the next month, so I made sure Mike got to know his grandfather before he died. Which is good, because I was too broke to buy him a decent Christmas present that year.
  15. for keeping Doctor Who meetup running for five years.
  16. for standing up to my family. They can not like it all they want, they were demanding things they had no right to and treating me like dirt for excuses, not reasons.
  17. for baking that birthday cake for B, since his kids weren’t about to do it.
  18. for throwing that 29th birthday party for T.
  19. for running Shadowzine all those years ago. I’m still sad it died. I was increasing its circulation before that happened.
  20. for getting Pagans to consent to and cooperate with actual deadlines.
  21. for helping Shez get a semester of schooling – he would have likely have had to drop out or resorted to corruption if I hadn’t stepped in.
  22. for creating that manual of operations at the International Student Office. It may be long gone by now, but at least one person after me found it helpful and organizing.
  23. for teaching several classes at UPS.
  24. for running the food shelf drive with the Who meetup.
  25. for helping L with her wedding dress.
  26. for helping M find stores so she could find HER wedding dress.
  27. for giving A encouragement before his grand adventure.
  28. for showing BH that there was someone who valued him in his life when we were kids.
  29. for showing AB that he could like someone that challenged him.
  30. for telling off the entire Mean Girls table in public my senior year of high school. Honestly, how much more crap were they expecting me to tolerate?
  31. for helping out the TARDIS Tea society without stepping into their territory.
  32. for bringing J a birthday card when I hardly know him.
  33. for bringing C lunch when she was sick.
  34. for bringing B juice and Kleenex when she was sick.
  35. for all the times I used to bring my sister stuff when she was laid up – I did it every time.
  36. for stuffing money into my mother’s purse and into the red penguin, especially after hearing my parents constantly complain how tight money was.
  37. for years of church breakfasts, communion cleanups, church service ushering and nursery duty.
  38. for bringing P to the closest Hindu temple after her car accident.
  39. for bringing my neighbor chocolate truffles.
  40. for sitting for M’s cat…while he was off with his best friend’s wife. (Didn’t really know the second part ’til later. The cat was sweet enough to make up for the allergies, but not for my participation in that degree of ethical shittery.)
  41. for trying to teach better organizational management to L. It’s not my fault she refused to turn off her inner noise and actually listen.
  42. for biting my tongue every time some kid just out of college with a marketing degree does a bad job rewriting my copy.
  43. for making the EGCG trunk show actually work.
  44. for telling that teenage girl who came to me for a reading, “Just because he says he loves you doesn’t mean he does.” From the look on her face, I’m pretty sure I set her free from a bad relationship. I just hope she also learned when to BELIEVE it when someone says they love you.
  45. for the MSU-Pagan events where I raised most of the funds for the organization. No idea what the hell ever happened with that money.
  46. for making the first Pagan Pride at Mankato State happen.
  47. for finding the first truly workable location for the Doctor Who meetup (where we still are at the moment.)
  48. for writing J that dirty Dexter fanfic.
  49. for doing those free herbal consults.
  50. for my painstaking honesty in matters where there is any risk involved.