This is part of my work in the Julia Cameron Artist’s Way series. The work this time is from the book the Artist’s Way at Work: Riding the Dragon. The responses are self-examinations and assessments based on work through a daily series of exercises. While I do keep some material offline as it can be very personal and jarring, I often opt to be fairly open about my experiences, both positive and negative.
1. Morning pages are very consistent, although I have taken weekends off here and there. I can always tell, though. However, shit is not building up nearly as much since I found a proper therapist and have made some painful but necessary steps in separating myself from my relatives. Without them pushing my buttons my head is amazingly clean.
2. I don’t feel good about my time-outs. This is partly because my efforts to have a healthier social life has responded like any garden I tend, and gone bumpercrop. Notice the keywords are “that I tend.” I’ve had a few gardens fail from neglect.
Susan Miller’s astrology zone indicates that the first part of my life has been about working through massive, HARSH, karma when it comes to all love and friendship based relationships. Apparently I’ve served my time and I’m on to the next part. This does, however, make solitary time-outs more difficult for me. I’m tempted to put efforts into buying another car, but going down to one was the smartest financial decision I’ve ever made and I don’t want to go back on that. Also, since I’m a woman of size, I’d look ridiculous on a Vespa. I may need to devise more “at home” time-outs, even if it’s just lining up youtube videos or watching the Muppet movies. I can’t be spontaneous with social invites for the most part because of transit, and mass transit while pleasant does take a big chunk of time. Also, a train line won’t be running past my apartment by 2030, and hopefully by then Mike and I will have a nice condo or townhouse plus dog.
3. Synchronicity isn’t always something I notice because it’s just so common to my life since I started practicing witchcraft in earnest. My Skeptic has been relegated to Daria fandom where she’s quite happy and useful, and I’m getting really good at turning inner criticism attacks into positive self-talk and sorting of “that’s crap/not true/strictly a sociological infection” from “OK, let’s go over an action plan.”
4. I’m both good and bad at self-care. My weekly skin and hair care routines have slid – in part because water aerobics has me confused as to whether the hair care treatments do a damn bit of good. (Vinegar on my hair after does help.) I sussed out that back pain has been interfering with my writing productivity, and telltale finger twitches have let me know I need my ergonomic keyboard back. So I now have a Futurama cast member’s head to sit on – it’s temporary, until we get a proper ergonomic chair. So I’m addressing issues, but skipping some stuff, too. I don’t have to be perfect anymore – thank the gods I’m out of corporate.