This is part of my work in the Julia Cameron Artist’s Way series. The work this time is from the book the Artist’s Way at Work: Riding the Dragon. The responses are self-examinations and assessments based on work through a daily series of exercises. While I do keep some material offline as it can be very personal and jarring, I often opt to be fairly open about my experiences, both positive and negative.
1. Right now my morning pages aren’t suggesting changes per se; they’re pointing out relational patterns. I think I’m digging into why other people project their crap onto me so much, especially the idea that because they feel a certain way about me I must feel that way about them. It’s weird, and I’ve looked over journals and situations to recognize that it’s not me, but since it’s a pattern that recurs in my life, it is me, somehow. I can’t control what other people do, so I’m either picking the wrong relationships over time based on a subconscious thread I don’t yet recognize or my mirroring patterns that I use when establishing rapport are biting me in the ass.
2. One of my last time-outs got a bit unpleasant as I got subjected to some flat-out misogynistic presumption at a comic book store. I’ll go to the one on Washington from now on. They stare, but they don’t put their foots in their mouths. I don’t have a time-out scheduled this week, and since I was ill last week I fell out of rhythm on my gym schedule. Hoping to get that back this week.
3. I am pretty good with the open-minded in general. I haven’t had synchronicity but I have had strong “guiding voice” this week, stronger than I’ve felt in a long time. Of course, what it’s saying right now is “keep your mouth shut,” and leading me to memories of an old work situation where I was the scapegoat/blame monkey for problems in the company that truly had nothing to do with me.