Riding the Dragon: The Fraudian Slip

This is part of my work in the Julia Cameron Artist’s Way series. The work this time is from the book the Artist’s Way at Work: Riding the Dragon. The responses are self-examinations and assessments based on work through a daily series of exercises. While I do keep some material offline as it can be very personal and jarring, I often opt to be fairly open about my experiences, both positive and negative.

5 Reasons I Feel Like a Fraud
1. I do what I do because my partner financially supports me; I’m not succeeding independently.
Counter: There are men and women who, when they start out, need support. It can take some time to establish independent footing. We may cast opinions that it as “wrong” but since no one is harmed or suffering because of this choice, it’s perfectly acceptable no matter what anyone else may think – including your idiot apartment manager.

2. I often blog about fashion while wearing yoga pants and baggy shirts.
Counter: You also run to the gym in that clothing, and you have found more reasons to go out and dress well recently. You blog “dress for the life you have,” and your life in its day to day is best served with the loose clothing that lets you transition easily from writing to exercise.

3. I get a nagging sense I should be doing “real work” and not something I enjoy.
Counter: You got filled with the same bullshit about “fallbacks” as every other creative kid did back in the 80s and 90s. It was based on Baby Boomer self-serving wisdom that completely ignored the reality that your generation experienced and is experiencing life completely differently. You are not your mother’s creative blocks and excuses. You are you. You’re going through the phase where the more unblocked you get, the nastier the blocked around you get. This will pass – some may see fit to unblock themselves, and some will fall away. If you were acting out your mother’s blocks, you’d scramble to “preserve” those negative relationships. Remember how she was when Marcie started treating you like dirt, and how she pushed you to “save” it instead of recognizing that the relationship was harming you? What your mother would do or want is NOT for your own good. In normal life, inappropriate relationships fall away, some with drama, some without. The healthy thing to do is acknowledge that that happens and focus on filling those spaces with the creatively and emotionally free.

4. There are people that have been in my life that do not consider what I do valid because it involves fashion.
Counter: There are many people who consider themselves intellectual people of depth that are really quite stupid. To dismiss any sector of culture out of hand, from sports to academics, is ultimately the act of the shallow. You don’t enjoy sports, but you have the intellectual flexibility to recognize its value to culture. If these people can’t recognize the deeper roads within fashion, it’s because they’re dumb enough to try to pretend they’re smart. See through it.

5. I’m not total anti-consumerist, but I’m actually very close in some things, yet I run a blog to assist shopping.
Counter: You can advocate responsible consumerism, and you do. Getting people to the right purchases for themselves on the first try, and to advocate for themselves when companies serve them poorly, in the long run does reduce consumption.