Sense of Possibility: the reasons I can’t believe in a supportive God

For those on a path that bars questioning divinity – well, I don’t think that’s a very good path, so bite me. Mine has always been one of dialogue and questioning Divine wisdom (and learning to understand it) is part of my deal. What I’ve found is that the divine generally turns out to be wise – and we’re taught not to question when the “wisdom” we’re conferred has nothing to do with G.O.D.

So, especially as I’ve felt extra pressure and stress lately, including a new round from a totally unexpected source just as I was finally feeling recovered from the death of my father:

I can’t believe in a supportive God because

…it seems like you want me miserable, or you enjoy just watching me struggle and start over again and again. Just as I recover or start to feel strong again, the new line of bullshit comes my way.

…you put me in a family of people who can’t stand to see me happy, and the friends I attract “naturally” are the ones who also think it’s normal and somehow upright to be bitter, jealous and to project ill-wishes in the direction of anyone who appears happy and healthy.

…I get passed over for a lot of the excellent work I do, and I know it’s excellent.

…worse, I do great work that goes ignored and uncredited all the time. It’s maddening.

…I am repeatedly affected by people who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions. Today alone I had to see someone supporting the “just accept everyone’s crazy, including me,” statement.

These are real “beefs” and recurring issues. I find them frustrating and I KNOW I deserve better.

Because this entry will of course immediately produce a religious knee-jerk from someone with limited imagination and active fear of new/foreign/disagreeing ideas that do no harm to that person whatsoever, comments are off.

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