Before I go too far into this – and I know some readers really want me to dig into this one deep – I need to make something clear:
My understanding of God is probably not your understanding of God. I am, absolutely, a theist. I don’t just believe in God, I’ve held discourse with that being – for years. In fact, the conversation’s been going since I was 8 years old, and never really stopped. Out of all the friends I’ve had, God is probably the oldest and the best – and takes criticism with remarkable Grace.
God to me has become “Good Orderly Direction,” as Cameron likes to define it. Anything else is too detailed not to be a product of the human imagination.
I am Wiccan. The will of God – or the word of God – does not exist in any holy book, according to my religion. I don’t accept a single one of them. I acknowledge they all hold enormous importance to billions of people and inform entire cultures. They just don’t do this for me. I also do not believe in a God that is to be feared, and I think someone telling me things like “Oh, it’s God’s will if this or that happens,” is not just offensive and condescending, but speaks volumes about that person being completely irresponsible – and worse, using religion to justify his or her laziness.
God has nothing – NOTHING – to do with religion. Not even mine. And I identify as a religious person.
I am and am not both polytheist and monotheist. God is big, and we are quite literally a part of God. What we call God is sort of a “highest of high” wisdom.
So when I write a “letter to God” it is more of a “letter to the portion of the collective intelligence that forms God,” or sometimes, to the aspect of God that is my patron, Eros, or his feminine counterpart, Psyche. Why do this latter part? It has nothing to do with God, it’s just my religious inclination.
Thus is my letter:
I started gaining weight at age 4 and have been overweight for most of my life. Given how early you did this, I can only assume you and I conferred and came up with a reason for me to have this experience. It hasn’t been pleasant, but I’ve found an inner gift for finding – or turning to good – the aspects of my life experience that suck the most. For example, Fat Chic is undermining the diet industry and every person who’s harassed me about my weight one post at a time.
I do have binge behaviors, and if you can help me turn my attention to activities that keep me far from food when I’m bored or upset, it would be a great help. Just pop an idea in my head about trying origami, or ask me if I’ve drawn anything lately or something. It’s all I need, thanks.