Discovering a Sense of Proportion: Miniaturizing Doubts

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1. If I let myself admit it, I think I have a secret gift for fashion design and cartoon-style illustration.

2. If I weren’t afraid, I’d tell myself to try a sketch class.

3. As my own best friend, I’d really cheer if I saw myself try one of those model-sketching art classes.

4. The compliment I received that seemed to good to be true was “Oh, here’s God’s gift.” Seriously, someone actually said that to me on my first day of college. It scared the crap out of me. The campus newspaper needed an overhaul and evidently my writer’s scholarship was much more impressive than I’d thought – I assumed since I won it that it wasn’t that big a deal. I have also been told I have a real eye for fashion design.

5. If I acted on the compliment… no, I think there’s no way I could act on that compliment. If I acted on that second compliment, I’d finally sign up for those sewing classes.

6. The best person to cheer me on in my secret identity is Brenda; she shares many of my style sensibilities though she’s much more femme.

7. The person I should carefully not tell my dream to is my mother. She already kind of knows, but the woman is missing 30 + years of information and has a 60 + year imagined self image that involves her genuinely impressive costuming skills – and truly frustrating and inaccurate ideas about what makes a fat person look good.

8. The tiniest realistic step I could take in my dreamed direction is to set up my sewing machine.

9. The hugest step I could take in my dreamed-of direction is to take classes on making my own patterns.

10. The step I am able to take that feels about right to me is to set up said sewing machine and start with the T-shirt surgery.

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