First of all, I have to confess: I love uploading large images here. I know it’s not great for the attention span, but for some strange reason I just like seeing my images LARGE. My second confession is that I’m finding Julia Cameron’s adoption of goddess spirituality strangely gratifying, sort of an “oh, I was on my own path all along” revelation. I don’t know if Cameron is still a goddess practitioner, but to discover that she was at one point is peculiarly like being found especially since I’ve been feeling very lost within my own spiritual community lately.
Within my own Wiccan faith, I am dedicated to the god Eros. The god not just of sexual love. He is the progenitor of the universe. He’s very much a creativity god already and was quite vocal about having me get on this path and sticking to it. (Any god will talk to anyone, you just have to shut up and listen. And accept that these conversations generally happen on their schedule and not yours.) Since my religion is what I’ve written about the most, and where the most conflicts about me writing have arisen – from within and without the faith – this is an area that I tend to think of as “whole” that’s really a bit damaged. I am unhappy with my faith, but I am not unhappy with my gods.
I do feel like there’s a lot of paranoia surrounding me writing anything. And it’s not my paranoia. It gets quite frustrating, really. It is a form of the inner critic, and the crazymaker combined: “If you publish, the sky will fall! If you publish, someone will take your simple treatise on circle casting and bring Cthulhu into this world!” I have nothing to do with the Chthulhu mythos, and I need to find it in me to say “Bring on the calamari!”