Kingdom of Sight: the Art Doll

Art Doll - Portrait of Myself
For this task, the artist is to make an art doll using any medium desired. Since my skills beyond paper are limited, I defaulted to paper and glue – I’ve certainly been living in these tools for the last several months!

I created an image of myself naked, and what immediately bothered me in my nudity? Shoes. I insisted upon giving myself shoes. I want to walk EVERYWHERE and I don’t want to hurt my feet while I do it.  I also went with red hair because I just didn’t have any brown construction paper and I used to dye my hair a bright, bright red.

I see myself as naked because I don’t cloak myself in the emotional outfits women my age are supposed to. In fact, my very self-concept is considered a serious heresy. I like myself. To other women who share my culture, this is horrifying. I’m fat – but I don’t think that’s that big of a deal; I still think I’m pretty. Thinking you’re pretty is a great big “not allowed!” for women.  My very nudity – my openness about how I see myself – is to some beautiful and others offensive. Notably there are no mirrors and I’m not contemplating myself – I’m walking, I’m dancing, I’m walking, I’m dancing – given a choice I’d rather not reflect upon myself. My nudity is just an is. I’m a bit lonely there – I’d love to have a few friends and a lover inclined to dance with me.

The necklace is because I love how I look in chokers, and the funky eyes are because I do wear kohl a lot and my eyes are legally blue but are slowly aging into a peculiar yellow-ringed hazel blue-grey that sometimes turns bright green for no traceable reason. The ring on my left hand is my engagement ring.

I couldn’t find a way of giving myself penguin or chicken wings, so the things at the end of my hands are supposed to be veils/fans a la a burlesque fan dancer. I feel like I have wings but I haven’t quite taken off – or like those shoes have weights beneath them, and there’s something I can achieve, but something needs to grow/evolve or something needs to be released. This sums up how I see myself as an artist: I just haven’t quite taken off yet, and there’s a specific reason. I just can’t tell if the reason is a matter of growth, or of outgrowth (ie letting go of the past and the way I’ve been treated in the past.) I kind of see myself flapping the burlesque fans until I take off, or accidentally (or on purpose) smacking hecklers with them.

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5 thoughts on “Kingdom of Sight: the Art Doll”

  1. I love your blog and I especially love this post. I’m so grateful you wrote this. It’s so true that we women aren’t supposed to think ourselves pretty especially if we are – gasp! – overweight. Your art doll is cool and you are definitely pretty…

    I’m thinking about jumping back into an Artist’s Way book myself. I need to get moving again. Your work here has been very inspiring. Thank you!

  2. Thanks – and do let me know if you get going. I’m in Vein of Gold now, and moving forward. Albeit slowly!

  3. Hey! I think you’re doing great – Vein of Gold is so intensive it would be way beyond me at the moment.

    Just letting you know I’m still following your blog and yes, I did “get going,” finally. I’ve joined a cluster blogging about the Artist’s Way, and I’ve begun with my first post on my own, brand-new blog. (Never done this before, so cross your fingers for me!)

    I’m not sure if I should leave a web address.
    http://oneswayingbeing.wordpress.com/2009/08/16/whatever-you-are-willing-to-declare/

    If that is inappropriate, I’m sure you can delete it. That’s the page with my first post on TAW. You actually make an appearance in the first paragraph, or your blog does 😉 Hope that’s okay!

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