Chapter 4 Check-in

1. Morning pages – 7 out of 7, but next week will be less. I’m under a lot of stress with my family as you all know, and I’m far away but think about them all the time, always have. (Doesn’t mean it makes me willing to tolerate shenanigans, thus working on the artist’s way/finding water stuff.)

2. I did do my artist’s date this week, which was in theory a panel about photography and its use in building community profiles. At the end there was a reception and I got to see some gorgeous takes on some of the lesser-known aspects of the Twin Cities. During the middle I got trapped listening to three women talk loudly, over the speakers, and complain about the main photographer’s accent. I was sketching notes rather than taking them, so I took great pleasure in writing – in BIG letters- “Racism Makes Accents Hard to Hear.” For the most part they shut up after that. I also have some fun images from that session I’d like to relay into larger art. I will post when I do.

3. It took a small tantrum, but I did get in my weekly walk, although I’m striving to find a day not so littered with baby strollers and bridal pictures. I am also noticing that by coming back week after week, I’m noticing new details and sensing small changes in a constant rhythm (and big ones, when they change the flower shows.) I had an odd cosmic experience last fall at the place, where I wrote a poem to memorialize a child’s death and I had a Dia de los Muertos meeting with an aunt. My experiences at the conservatory are very healing, but they do force me to think about my family and face my father’s mortality. It’s also hard work to let myself have those feelings without allowing those feelings to completely stop my life.

4. I feel a little bad for not doing the last two tasks involving “sketching my day” and I may do them later (since I realized I did virtually no work in chapter 3.) I am going to attend a local artist’s meetup to see how that goes and if I connect with anyone, but I have had the following developments:

  • I made a breakthrough on the divorce and Wicca book, and I’m allowing myself to write from my heart and personal experience. It’s about Wicca because I’m Wiccan, and I’m not going to force it into any mold or New Age marketing expectation. I’m going to write and let Eros guide me – and it – where it’s needed. Last night I wrote 8 pages and I didn’t feel squeezed at all.
  • I’ve set my business on auto-pilot while I organize my studio. While the lack of income makes me hiss on the in-breath, the organization itself will more than make up for it when I’m able to find everything extremely quickly and when I have proper storage on-hand for my stock.
  • My kitchen is becoming awesome, as I’ve been slowly investing in organization and labeling. This may seem minor and in some minds have nothing to do with art, but for me, it means a world of things: lower effort in cooking high-quality meals, an easier to clean kitchen and thus a more efficient workspace when I do things that allow me to watch TV/ be social while I work.
  • I am getting much better at my exercise program. I promised myself I would do something to exercise every day this month. I need to get up and haul out the DDR mat, but I’ve done it. 30 days with some exercise, ranging from 20 minutes to two hours on a daily basis. (One day off due to food poisoning.) Joining the indoor walking club was also a very good move, because it allows me to touch base with Joel in an active – and free – manner.
  • This was my big artistic achievement this week, as I’ve decided self-portraits are not about my vanity, but about getting an aerial view on where my head is at. I am a Scorpio; I often don’t know how I really feel until I’ve already exploded. This is entitled “Exploring My Vanity.” It’s a series of shots from my doing my morning feminine ablutions, and it’s actually not an ironic statement – I really do do all that and wrap myself up again. I’ll leave the viewer to decide what that says about me.