Much of the chapter work is being sort of skipped over this week because 1)it just synchronized with a full social week with people I happen to enjoy creative interchanges with, so it’s working it’s own way naturally and 2)I’m not shy, exactly, but I’m very uncomfortable just contacting people out of the blue, even people who have known me for years, and it’s hard to write a thank you note on a project when I’m still working on the projects I was working on years ago. Am I forgiven? Please?
So, onto my subject of the day:
Crazymakers. I have them. Real live human persons who, because of their own personal damage, look for ways to block my own creativity usually by getting me in an emotional frenzy. Xiane and I awhile ago started a list of crazymakers; I’m envisioning a field guide/comic book supplemental for other Artist’s Way travelers.
In the past two days, I’ve heard from two of them. One directly, and one through a friend. Both of them think I owe them something. Both of them really, really want me upset. One went so far as to call a mutual friend “disloyal” for still speaking to me, because apparently she graduated from kindergarten on some sort of GED plan.
They may say they want something tangible, but really, they just want me upset because then they know they have control over me. All they’re looking for is my emotional incapacitation. And, thanks to morning pages and being in a really good place, I can recognize that and say “not my problem, buddy.” I put the crazymaker in my God Jar, and I move on. They have no power over me, and the fact that they want some tells me clearly that they’re terrible people and to be dismissed.
I bring this up at the moment, because I’ve come to believe slightly more in astrology now that I understand it beyond the context of a newspaper horoscope. I have benefitted repeatedly from reading Susan Miller’s Astrozone, just because it’s a good way of knowing I should duck and cover.
An astrological event going on right now is Mercury Retrograde. It’s marked as a time of communication and travel foulups, crazy things breaking and moments of sheer randomness. It’s also a “re” time: times of revisiting, times of revelation, and times of renewal. So it doesn’t surprise me that these long-gone crazymakers are popping out of the woodwork: I tend to hear from exes during Mercury Rx, and hear about little dramas I’m unknowingly the center of at this time. I can always rely on hearing from one person I haven’t in many years during these times – although it’s up for grabs whether or not I want to!
Mercury Retrograde is a crazymaking time. It stirs up old feelings, old REsentments, REvisting the past all too often in a negative way. But you can leverage this into the morning pages and REsolve them once and for all – making your crazymakers and the star’s alignment work for you. So far, that’s what it’s done for me, and I’m happy to see that I’m in a good place, knowing a good place is one you have to work for.